R U OK?

**Trigger warning – mentions suicide and self harm**

R U OK?

It’s a question that’s been plastered across my facebook and instagram pages today. And I think it’s great.

I think it’s awesome that we are creating awareness around suicide prevention.

I love that we use the platforms that we have to break down stigma around taboo subjects like mental illness.

I love that it’s simple and catchy, yet stops us in our tracks to think and ask and genuinely care.

And I’m feeling especially thankful today because no one in my life has died from side effects of mental illness. I don’t know how hard it is. I could never comprehend the pain that those affected go through, whether those with the mental illness, or those left behind.

But.

I’ve seen friends lose themselves to mental illness.

I’ve seen friends that are too ashamed to seek any kind of help because of the judgement they’ll receive.

I’ve seen friends try to push through until they break down, because they don’t know who to speak to.

I’ve seen friends attempt to end their lives because they feel like a burden to those around them. Or because they’re hurting so much and nothing they’ve done has eased the pain. Or because they are so numb to their surroundings and they’ve lost every bit of desire to continue living – not that they want to die, they just don’t want to exist any more.

I’ve seen friends harm themselves as a way to ease the pain. Not for attention. But because their heart hurts so badly, and this can create a temporary relief.

I’ve heard bosses say that a person shouldn’t be hired because they’re seeking treatment for mental illness.

I’ve heard in my church bubble, church members say to my friends (and to me) that if only we prayed harder, or loved God more, or trusted more, or served God more, we wouldn’t have mental health problems.

I’ve seen ministers, church leaders, CEOs, managers, teachers, nurses, doctors, psychiatric professionals, and many, many more, burn out, have breakdowns, and create toxic spaces around them because of the stigma around mental illness, and because they’ve been told they need to “be strong” for so long.

And this all breaks my heart.

So.

When I see the constant responses and sharing of R U OK day on my feed, my heart becomes a little happier. I see generations of people coming together to break down the stigma of mental illness and suicide.

Yet while I find this encouraging, we still have a long way to go. No longer can mental illness be something talk about once a year. It needs to be a daily conversation. It needs to be done in relationship with people.

We need to start recognising that those around us, probably the people we least expect, might not be okay. And that’s okay too. Because community supports one another.

But finally, on a day like today, it’s also okay to be okay. Be okay or not okay, but please just be you.

And be honest, not just today, but every day. If you’re struggling and you haven’t told someone, reach out. Ask people to check in with you. Seek medical attention. Don’t do it alone. People love you and care about you.

Just be you. On the good days and the bad. Because you are enough.